the world feels rendered
when simulations feel more real than reality
this month, i went outside.
i went to the beach and sat on the sand, let the waves wash upon my toes. got on a boat, watched as the waves naturally moved to the wind, and a manatee drift by slowly like a moving rock. as i watched the nature, i started to think, "wow the waves in the water look fake, this render looks off" to which i then started to wonder, "i'm really starting to view the real world as the model for the digital??"
to which i then reminded myself: the real world is the model for the digital.
it's scary to me realizing now how little time i spend outside, paying attention to my surroundings: feeling the breeze of the wind, the warmth from the sun on my face, the way the animals scurry around in a non-algorithmic pattern. the way nature just works, and is not a replication that we have modeled as sets of complex equations. the way things grow, the way water knows the direction to flow, the way water washes up the shore without fail everyday, the way things move through time naturally without pause.
i make fun of 'touching grass,' but i realize it's me who forgot how nice it is to lie on the grass, who is in awe by how soft sand is when i actually go to the beach, who finds it magical how quickly my body adapts to cold water after jumping into a lake, who thinks the sunset gradient is too pretty to be real no matter how many times i've seen it so i continually hoard more sunset photos.
but maybe it's not a bad thing to think the real world is representing the digital. like how math equations model reality, maybe these simulations we create are models that also inform reality. maybe it's another lens to understand the world and these patterns are crucial in having a deeper understanding of the other models we could generate to inform decisions in the real world.